Private Messaging

There is a general rule that private messages should not be sent unless you have permission to do so. The primary reason is that private messages are demanding; answering costs time, but not answering snubs the sender. Sometimes both are unacceptable, so it’s rude to force the recipient to make the choice.

But for a rule to applicable to the channel, the private messages must be reasonably related to the channel.

  • At a minimum, both participants must be or recently have been channel participants.
  • If the private messages constitute harassment, that’s beyond the scope of channel rules: it’s prohibited by Libera.Chat’s policies, and that will get sender K-lined.

Sometimes you can infer permission from previous interactions, and sometimes you should infer withdrawal of permission. This cannot be absolute; it needs a nuanced judgement, so we offer these recommendations:

  1. If they have sent a explicit statement granting or withholding permission, the most recent of those overrides everything else.
  2. This general prohibition does not apply where you have an existing pattern of exchanging private messages with someone, provided it’s been mutually agreeable, subject to point (1) above.
  3. Just because someone previously answered a private question, that does not make such a pattern; it does not mean that they have time now to answer your next question. This applies not just to private messages; it also means that you shouldn’t mention people in a channel just to ask them a question.
  4. If they’ve sent you a private message, then replying to it is usually OK, subject to point (1) above.

Whether the recipient is active matters:

  • If they’re not active, they may have a client that actively alerts them, say by making a sound, when they receive a PM or are mentioned. So you’re going to distract them from whatever they were really doing.

The type of communication matters:

  • Conversely, if you’re asking someone to stop infringing this policy, maybe it’s better to do that by PM than to degrade the channel further. But take care to ask politely, and don’t get into an argument with them.
  • In many cultures it’s extremely rude to criticise someone in public; make allowance for this if someone sends you criticism privately.
  • Sending a private message to ask whether you may send a private message, that’s a grey area. If someone sends you such a message, feel no guilt about ignoring it if you don’t want to engage with them.

Lastly:

  • Single incidents are not as important as patterns of behaviour. (But bear in mind that your one-off PM might be one among a deluge for the recipient.)
  • Copying private messages into any channel is forbidden. Replying to private messages in the channel is strongly discouraged.
    • Exception: this doesn’t stop you reporting abusive private messages to ##English-ops or other appropriate ops’ channels, including #libera, but check with that ops’ channel first.
  • The channel operators may send private messages to anyone as necessary to resolve disputes.
  • In cases where this policy does not provide a clear answer, a channel operator’s ruling or announcement is binding.